A Young Mother's JOY
Thursday, November 15, 2012
a typical day in China?
Saturday, July 28, 2012
I have a lot of concerns for our family. This time I'm going with two children which brings a whole other world of issues I never thought of before as a single.
How will they do on the plane? How will I entertain them? How will I not go insane? How will they cope with jetlag? How will they do with being in a strange place with strange people, language, and food?
As a mom, my tendency to be given to worries and fears is pretty strong! What can I do? Well the only thing I can do is release all of those concerns to the One who holds my little ones in His hands.
Phillippians 4:6 is defninetly my theme verse right now. haha
But as I look around me this week, I'm not alone.
Other moms with children who have the same concerns, same worries, same fears.
This morning what a blessing as we gathered together and shared these same concerns in the form of requests to our Father.
All of us with children of different ages and different personalities all dealing with different issues. We just want to know- will our children be ok? Are they going to hate us forever for dragging them to a foreign country? Will they be scarred for life?
One mom said it well. "If we have been called so have our children. Right now this is their calling as well as ours."
In all of this we have to come to the understanding that our children in reality are not our own. They are His and we are merely stewards of them. Of course we want to steward them well, but ultimately they are in His hands. We have to surrender them to Him and take comfort in the fact that He loves our children even more than we do and He knows what's best for them.
My request specifically is that I would have discernment in disciplining my children. I want to have wisdom in knowing how to be sensitive to them during this time of transition but also to know how parent them well. I need to know when to discipline and when to have grace!
In all of this I realize my own inadequacy, my own depravity and I have this paralizying fear that I'm just not doing it the "right way". That's when I hear my loving Friend say to me "Just lean into me, Just depend on me for your strength, you can't do it in your own strength, that's why I'm here." Ahhhhhh! sweet release! Sweet dependence! Sweet mercy! He is enough! His grace is sufficient and I love him all the more for it!!
So in conclusion I just want to say, this transition however exciting is hard. There is a cost, there is struggle, but I keep my eyes on the Prize.
We say goodbye to all that is familiar to us, our homes, our family, our friends, our favorites shopping places, restaurants, parks, etc.
and trade it for the unknown and the unfamiliar. I'm reminded of His words in Mark 10:29,30
"...No one who has left house, or brothers, or sisters or mother or father or children or farms, for My sake....but that he will receive a hundred times as much now .....and in the age to come......"
For Him I live and For Him alone I move..... May He be praised forever and ever.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The Revelation of JESUS
Friday, December 23, 2011
Sojourning
The Lord definitely has our family in training. We find ourselves living a missionary life even though we are not overseas. I must admit at times it gets hard, especially when I look at my two little girls who seem so oblivious to the cares of this life. Yet Abigail has been struggling a little bit with our nomadic lifestyle of late. Since leaving our home in May this year we have stayed at nearly 10 different places, mostly homes of friends and family. Throughout this time Abigail has often asked to go home. Dan and I would say to her that wherever we were staying at the time was our home. This was very difficult for the both of us to try to explain this to our little girl, who doesn’t understand why must be moving around so much. Even now we are staying at a friend’s apartment until we can find a more permanent dwelling place for our family. I say permanent but really mean somewhere we can stay for about 6 months at least.
Many times throughout this journey, I have become so frustrated with all this moving around. Packing and unpacking, living out of suitcases, leaving things all around the country, losing things, having to be extra aware of living in someone else’s house, using their stuff and being at their mercy! It all gets to you at some point.
The last time I had to pack everything up before moving to this yet again temporary place, I couldn’t help but sighing and telling the Lord- “I just want a home.” Almost immediately after saying this He spoke to me, ever so gently but so clearly – “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” This caught me a little off guard but I knew it was Him speaking to me. Yes, He is right, I get to share in some small way in the life of my Lord. He was a man who traveled all over Israel proclaiming the good news of the kingdom. And here I am learning what it means to follow my Lord even when the road is not so easy.
In the context of this verse found in Luke 9:57-58, Jesus is speaking to a man who wishes to go wherever He goes. It’s as if Jesus is saying, can you really go wherever I go? Can you really embrace this life that I am living?
Already I have learned a little bit about what it means to sell all your possessions and follow Him. When we moved out of our home in May we sold nearly everything we owned except for a few things we are storing in my dad’s barn. We were preparing to go to China, where we could not take all that stuff. It was a little hard to part with some things, but the Lord kept reminding me that they are just things. God has never really allowed us to get too attached to our stuff as we have learned before, losing nearly everything in an apartment fire four years ago. Here one moment and gone the next…stuff doesn’t last, it’s not eternal. We must live for that which is eternal which can never be taken away. We must store up for ourselves treasures in heaven where moth or rust cannot destroy. These truths which our Lord spoke of are becoming reality to me as I embrace this life as a disciple of Jesus.
At times it can be hard, Jesus never promised it would be easy, but for the most part I am rejoicing that I can obey the word of the Lord and fulfill His calling on my life.
When we were living in our little basement apartment for the past three months, Abigail would often say, “this is our home right?” And we would say “Yes” but then we moved, and she was confused all over again. “I want to go home” she would say, and we would once again try to explain these things to her. But how much can a three year old understand? So I told her to pray and ask God for a new home, one which He will provide very soon. She has really taken this to heart because she often says, “we are going to a new home right? God is going to give us a new home.” This really brings joy to my heart, because I can see her learning to trust God to provide everything we need. I can hardly wait until we are in a new home -our home though I know better than to get too attached. : )
Before coming to Kansas City the Lord gave me Psalm 84. This whole chapter talks about being in the House of the Lord. I felt that this was His leading us to the House of Prayer. He also impressed upon my heart verse 3- “The bird also has found a house and the swallow a nest for herself where she may lay her young….” I felt this was a promise from the Lord to provide a home for me and my family. The desire of my heart is to have a little bit of stability for my children amidst a lot of uncertainty concerning our future. The Lord reminded me of this passage when just the other day I was really struggling with not having a place of our own. We were at FCF (Forerunner Christian Fellowship) on Sunday and the worship leader was singing this psalm. Later when we were home I read it again. The Lord comforts me with these words “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; NO good thing does He with hold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11
Through all of this moving around We are learning the true meaning of sojourning. Just like the Israelites who wandered around in the desert before entering the promised land. In this age we are to live like strangers and aliens looking forward to our true home which will come when His kingdom on earth is established. Then I will be at home, then I will feel at home. This world is just a temporary dwelling place. I’m not to ‘feel’ at home here, I’m not to ‘fit’ in here. I’m not to get comfortable here. My hope is not in this life. When I am with Jesus living in eternity with Him, that is when my life will really begin. It’s often hard to think that way cause we can be so wrapped up in the here and now, but we have all eternity to be with Jesus, the life we are living now is truly but a moment.
This Christmas season as I think about the birth of Jesus, Our Lord whom the world had no room for when He came, was born in a stable. Even in his birth he had no home, indicating the life he would lead on this earth. He lived among the world yet not belonging to it, and so must we. Even though my life right now doesn’t hold a candle to His, in some miniscule way I am able to walk as He walked and this gives me real JOY!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Woe to the pregnant and nursing.
Jesus.
The name of my Lord is becoming more and more dear to me as I continually learn to know Him more.
I’ve been reading through the book of Luke, and I stand amazed at the glory, the beauty and the love of this Man who is also my God.
Isn’t it amazing how we can read the scriptures over and over again and yet each time be struck with some new aspect that we never saw before? Or pierced to the heart by a new revelation that He’s giving to us at that time. There is no other book like HIS WORD, because it is HIS Word! It’s like fire, like a hammer. (Jer. 23:29) It’s like a sword. It’s alive! (Hebrews 4:12)
I was meditating on some portions of scripture in Luke which target pregnant and nursing women specifically;
Take a look:
“Woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days; for there will be great distress upon the land and wrath to this people;” Luke 21:23
then again:
“For behold the days are coming when they will say ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed.’ Luke 23:29
At first glance we might be a little confused, what is Jesus saying, why is he singling out pregnant and nursing women specifically? We could almost be offended, but I think we have to understand the context of these scriptures.
Jesus is talking about the last days when Israel will be in the great tribulation… for he says there will be great distress upon the land. This is when Jerusalem will be seized by the armies of the antichrist. In verse 24 of Luke 21 it says that “they will fall by the edge of the sword and will be led captive…”
But why does Jesus mention the pregnant and nursing women? He could have said woe to the elderly, or the sick or the infirm. He could have highlighted a number of groups of different people, but he speaks of the women, pregnant or nursing.
And he says woe to them. He even prophesied that in those days people will say blessed are the barren and the breasts that never nursed.
I wonder if while Jesus was saying these things He saw in His mind a vision of a woman clutching her newborn babe tight to her chest, a look of horror and desperation in her eyes and she sees the armies descending upon Jerusalem. Perhaps He feels her dread, perhaps he can hear her heart beating heavily with fear of what will happen to her and her child. I believe he specifically targets this group of women because he knows the heart of a mother and that it is this group that will possibly have the greatest woe during this time.
Could you imagine the feeling that would come over you in that time of great suffering? Even if you could escape, your flight would be extremely difficult if pregnant or carrying a nursing child. Would you be able to sustain a child in your womb during that time if you had no food or if you were taken captive? What if you were sentenced to death and your child taken from you? What if you witnessed other pregnant women being killed by the sword?
I once heard an account of a Jewish man who lived through the holocaust. He was given the gruesome task of collecting the dead bodies from the gas chamber. He spoke of once seeing a mother and her baby in the gas chamber, the mother had perished with the baby still nursing at her breast, yet the baby was still alive. Although he begged the German guards to spare the child’s life they were unwilling.
When I heard this account… it cut to my heart deeply. I’ve heard many stories of the holocaust- but this! This seemed grip me in such a way that not many other horrific stories had, because I am a nursing mother.
I know what it is like to carry a child for 9 months and give birth, and to bear that wonderful responsibility of sustaining that little life. There seems to be no greater security for a baby than to be at his mother’s breast. And too, for the mother it’s a most precious time of nurturing the baby.
So when I read of Jesus’ words speaking of the pregnant and nursing women, I think I can feel His heart for them. He is bringing attention to women whose suffering will be great because the depth of a mother's love for her child whether in or out of the womb is so great. Jesus is saying woe to them, there will be sorrow, there will be suffering, there will be a rending of their hearts during those days.
It also could possibly show the depth of evil that will be in that day, when man will neither regard the pregnant woman or the nursing babe.
A pregnant woman nowadays, though not always, is most often shown a certain level of consideration by most in society.
But during those times of tribulation, there will be no mercy, no concern for the pregnant or nursing. The Enemy hates life. He hates the one bearing and sustaining life. We see evidence of this through abortion.
Those days will be so dark, so difficult.
Will a mother be able to bear it?
I recently read the account of Perpetua a first century Martyr, who was thrown to the wild beasts for her faith in Christ. She was a nursing mother at the time of her martyrdom. She records in her diary just before her death the agony of feeling her breasts engorged from not being able to nurse her child while in prison. At some point her baby is allowed to be with her in prison until he is taken away just before her death.
Can you imagine? Can you imagine being in prison separated from your baby knowing you will soon die and he will be left on this earth.
A million thoughts would flood my mind. How will he survive? Who will take care of my child? How will he be raised?
I believe it was the precious gift of the Lord to allow her to nurse her child in prison before her death. She even gives account of being at peace in her heart when he was taken away and told that he was accepting goat’s milk in place of hers.
She was ready and willing to die for Christ’s sake, even though she was given ample opportunity to deny Him. How tempting that would be for a woman with a newborn to deny her faith in order to be with her child, to be able to care for him and hold him and love him.
But she loved her Lord more, more than her life and her child.
Would I be this strong in my faith? Would I be willing to give up my child and surrender my life for His sake? I pray that I would.
I know that I must Love Jesus more than my children. But can I???? Ohhhhhh, this is a hard thing for us mothers. For He has said “ He who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
This is a hard saying, but of course we must love our Savior, more than anyone in this world. We must love our gift giver more than the gifts he gives.
Perhaps this is why Paul talks about remaining single considered the present age in which he was living. So many were losing their lives and their loved ones for the sake of Christ. Maybe Paul is saying that the sorrow and suffering would be much greater for a young married couple especially if they had children.
When I think about the coming troubling times, my greatest fear is my shrinking back in unbelief because of my children. What if I see them suffer? Will I be able to remain strong in my faith in the midst of their tribulation as well as mine?
This is stuff we as moms don’t want or like to think about… but we must! We must be prepared both spiritually, and mentally for the time to come and it is drawing near. Even if our children are grown by that time we must prepare them too.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Being faithful in the little things
I recently listened to a message from a leader at IHOP who said that as Parents the most important thing that we can do for our children is to establish a culture of prayer and worship. Teaching our children to talk and sing to the Lord.
Not only is this preparing them to embrace Christ as their Savior but it is preparing them for His coming.
4 “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 9You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
According to this passage we must be using every opportunity to teach our children the words of the Lord.
I'm still learning what it means to incorporate the Word of the Lord in everyday activities. I do have times when I teach Abigail Bible stories but I feel that I need to bring out the lessons learned in those stories in real life situations. God is teaching me.
I know that it is important to help her learn to love and worship the Lord, this is a big responsibility especially because it requires me to first love and worship the Lord before I can impart it to my daughters. I'm sure one of the biggest reasons for children who grow up and rebel against their parents is hypocrisy. I can tell my children to act a certain way but if I don't live it myself what are they learning, but to be good liars.
This is a huge challenge to me and why I know that before we can do any type of ministry whether in or outside the home we must first develop an intimate relationship with the Lord ourselves.
What was it that Israel was commanded to teach their children at all times?
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
If we are not loving God with all that we are, how can we expect our children to?
It's not just training our children to be well-behaved. We have to target the heart, and we want their hearts to be turned to the Lord. It's vitally important that in order to train up our children in the way they should go, we must guard our personal time with the Lord and continually seek to know Him more and more.
We can get so caught up in raising our kids that we can easily let our own heart drift away from the Lord, praying little and reading the word even less. Certainly we might have a good excuse at times. But let's be intentional to keep that time with Him sacred for that is one of the best things we can do for our children.
This is a standard that I readily admit am not upholding a hundred percent. But i'm striving to uphold it, for my Lord and for my children.
The greatest thing that I can do for them is prepare the soil of their hearts to embrace their Savior Jesus Christ and dedicate their lives to Him.
Ok Mommies! I know you have some great practical ideas of how to incorporate worship and prayer and the Word into your everyday routine with the kids. Please share with me!!