Sojourning

The Lord definitely has our family in training. We find ourselves living a missionary life even though we are not overseas. I must admit at times it gets hard, especially when I look at my two little girls who seem so oblivious to the cares of this life. Yet Abigail has been struggling a little bit with our nomadic lifestyle of late. Since leaving our home in May this year we have stayed at nearly 10 different places, mostly homes of friends and family. Throughout this time Abigail has often asked to go home. Dan and I would say to her that wherever we were staying at the time was our home. This was very difficult for the both of us to try to explain this to our little girl, who doesn’t understand why must be moving around so much. Even now we are staying at a friend’s apartment until we can find a more permanent dwelling place for our family. I say permanent but really mean somewhere we can stay for about 6 months at least.

Many times throughout this journey, I have become so frustrated with all this moving around. Packing and unpacking, living out of suitcases, leaving things all around the country, losing things, having to be extra aware of living in someone else’s house, using their stuff and being at their mercy! It all gets to you at some point.

The last time I had to pack everything up before moving to this yet again temporary place, I couldn’t help but sighing and telling the Lord- “I just want a home.” Almost immediately after saying this He spoke to me, ever so gently but so clearly – “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” This caught me a little off guard but I knew it was Him speaking to me. Yes, He is right, I get to share in some small way in the life of my Lord. He was a man who traveled all over Israel proclaiming the good news of the kingdom. And here I am learning what it means to follow my Lord even when the road is not so easy.

In the context of this verse found in Luke 9:57-58, Jesus is speaking to a man who wishes to go wherever He goes. It’s as if Jesus is saying, can you really go wherever I go? Can you really embrace this life that I am living?

Already I have learned a little bit about what it means to sell all your possessions and follow Him. When we moved out of our home in May we sold nearly everything we owned except for a few things we are storing in my dad’s barn. We were preparing to go to China, where we could not take all that stuff. It was a little hard to part with some things, but the Lord kept reminding me that they are just things. God has never really allowed us to get too attached to our stuff as we have learned before, losing nearly everything in an apartment fire four years ago. Here one moment and gone the next…stuff doesn’t last, it’s not eternal. We must live for that which is eternal which can never be taken away. We must store up for ourselves treasures in heaven where moth or rust cannot destroy. These truths which our Lord spoke of are becoming reality to me as I embrace this life as a disciple of Jesus.

At times it can be hard, Jesus never promised it would be easy, but for the most part I am rejoicing that I can obey the word of the Lord and fulfill His calling on my life.

When we were living in our little basement apartment for the past three months, Abigail would often say, “this is our home right?” And we would say “Yes” but then we moved, and she was confused all over again. “I want to go home” she would say, and we would once again try to explain these things to her. But how much can a three year old understand? So I told her to pray and ask God for a new home, one which He will provide very soon. She has really taken this to heart because she often says, “we are going to a new home right? God is going to give us a new home.” This really brings joy to my heart, because I can see her learning to trust God to provide everything we need. I can hardly wait until we are in a new home -our home though I know better than to get too attached. : )

Before coming to Kansas City the Lord gave me Psalm 84. This whole chapter talks about being in the House of the Lord. I felt that this was His leading us to the House of Prayer. He also impressed upon my heart verse 3- “The bird also has found a house and the swallow a nest for herself where she may lay her young….” I felt this was a promise from the Lord to provide a home for me and my family. The desire of my heart is to have a little bit of stability for my children amidst a lot of uncertainty concerning our future. The Lord reminded me of this passage when just the other day I was really struggling with not having a place of our own. We were at FCF (Forerunner Christian Fellowship) on Sunday and the worship leader was singing this psalm. Later when we were home I read it again. The Lord comforts me with these words “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; NO good thing does He with hold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11

Through all of this moving around We are learning the true meaning of sojourning. Just like the Israelites who wandered around in the desert before entering the promised land. In this age we are to live like strangers and aliens looking forward to our true home which will come when His kingdom on earth is established. Then I will be at home, then I will feel at home. This world is just a temporary dwelling place. I’m not to ‘feel’ at home here, I’m not to ‘fit’ in here. I’m not to get comfortable here. My hope is not in this life. When I am with Jesus living in eternity with Him, that is when my life will really begin. It’s often hard to think that way cause we can be so wrapped up in the here and now, but we have all eternity to be with Jesus, the life we are living now is truly but a moment.

This Christmas season as I think about the birth of Jesus, Our Lord whom the world had no room for when He came, was born in a stable. Even in his birth he had no home, indicating the life he would lead on this earth. He lived among the world yet not belonging to it, and so must we. Even though my life right now doesn’t hold a candle to His, in some miniscule way I am able to walk as He walked and this gives me real JOY!

Woe to the pregnant and nursing.

Jesus.

The name of my Lord is becoming more and more dear to me as I continually learn to know Him more.

I’ve been reading through the book of Luke, and I stand amazed at the glory, the beauty and the love of this Man who is also my God.

Isn’t it amazing how we can read the scriptures over and over again and yet each time be struck with some new aspect that we never saw before? Or pierced to the heart by a new revelation that He’s giving to us at that time. There is no other book like HIS WORD, because it is HIS Word! It’s like fire, like a hammer. (Jer. 23:29) It’s like a sword. It’s alive! (Hebrews 4:12)

I was meditating on some portions of scripture in Luke which target pregnant and nursing women specifically;

Take a look:

“Woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days; for there will be great distress upon the land and wrath to this people;” Luke 21:23

then again:

“For behold the days are coming when they will say ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed.’ Luke 23:29

At first glance we might be a little confused, what is Jesus saying, why is he singling out pregnant and nursing women specifically? We could almost be offended, but I think we have to understand the context of these scriptures.

Jesus is talking about the last days when Israel will be in the great tribulation… for he says there will be great distress upon the land. This is when Jerusalem will be seized by the armies of the antichrist. In verse 24 of Luke 21 it says that “they will fall by the edge of the sword and will be led captive…”

But why does Jesus mention the pregnant and nursing women? He could have said woe to the elderly, or the sick or the infirm. He could have highlighted a number of groups of different people, but he speaks of the women, pregnant or nursing.

And he says woe to them. He even prophesied that in those days people will say blessed are the barren and the breasts that never nursed.

I wonder if while Jesus was saying these things He saw in His mind a vision of a woman clutching her newborn babe tight to her chest, a look of horror and desperation in her eyes and she sees the armies descending upon Jerusalem. Perhaps He feels her dread, perhaps he can hear her heart beating heavily with fear of what will happen to her and her child. I believe he specifically targets this group of women because he knows the heart of a mother and that it is this group that will possibly have the greatest woe during this time.

Could you imagine the feeling that would come over you in that time of great suffering? Even if you could escape, your flight would be extremely difficult if pregnant or carrying a nursing child. Would you be able to sustain a child in your womb during that time if you had no food or if you were taken captive? What if you were sentenced to death and your child taken from you? What if you witnessed other pregnant women being killed by the sword?

I once heard an account of a Jewish man who lived through the holocaust. He was given the gruesome task of collecting the dead bodies from the gas chamber. He spoke of once seeing a mother and her baby in the gas chamber, the mother had perished with the baby still nursing at her breast, yet the baby was still alive. Although he begged the German guards to spare the child’s life they were unwilling.

When I heard this account… it cut to my heart deeply. I’ve heard many stories of the holocaust- but this! This seemed grip me in such a way that not many other horrific stories had, because I am a nursing mother.

I know what it is like to carry a child for 9 months and give birth, and to bear that wonderful responsibility of sustaining that little life. There seems to be no greater security for a baby than to be at his mother’s breast. And too, for the mother it’s a most precious time of nurturing the baby.

So when I read of Jesus’ words speaking of the pregnant and nursing women, I think I can feel His heart for them. He is bringing attention to women whose suffering will be great because the depth of a mother's love for her child whether in or out of the womb is so great. Jesus is saying woe to them, there will be sorrow, there will be suffering, there will be a rending of their hearts during those days.

It also could possibly show the depth of evil that will be in that day, when man will neither regard the pregnant woman or the nursing babe.

A pregnant woman nowadays, though not always, is most often shown a certain level of consideration by most in society.

But during those times of tribulation, there will be no mercy, no concern for the pregnant or nursing. The Enemy hates life. He hates the one bearing and sustaining life. We see evidence of this through abortion.

Those days will be so dark, so difficult.

Will a mother be able to bear it?

I recently read the account of Perpetua a first century Martyr, who was thrown to the wild beasts for her faith in Christ. She was a nursing mother at the time of her martyrdom. She records in her diary just before her death the agony of feeling her breasts engorged from not being able to nurse her child while in prison. At some point her baby is allowed to be with her in prison until he is taken away just before her death.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine being in prison separated from your baby knowing you will soon die and he will be left on this earth.

A million thoughts would flood my mind. How will he survive? Who will take care of my child? How will he be raised?

I believe it was the precious gift of the Lord to allow her to nurse her child in prison before her death. She even gives account of being at peace in her heart when he was taken away and told that he was accepting goat’s milk in place of hers.

She was ready and willing to die for Christ’s sake, even though she was given ample opportunity to deny Him. How tempting that would be for a woman with a newborn to deny her faith in order to be with her child, to be able to care for him and hold him and love him.

But she loved her Lord more, more than her life and her child.

Would I be this strong in my faith? Would I be willing to give up my child and surrender my life for His sake? I pray that I would.

I know that I must Love Jesus more than my children. But can I???? Ohhhhhh, this is a hard thing for us mothers. For He has said “ He who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”

This is a hard saying, but of course we must love our Savior, more than anyone in this world. We must love our gift giver more than the gifts he gives.

Perhaps this is why Paul talks about remaining single considered the present age in which he was living. So many were losing their lives and their loved ones for the sake of Christ. Maybe Paul is saying that the sorrow and suffering would be much greater for a young married couple especially if they had children.

When I think about the coming troubling times, my greatest fear is my shrinking back in unbelief because of my children. What if I see them suffer? Will I be able to remain strong in my faith in the midst of their tribulation as well as mine?

This is stuff we as moms don’t want or like to think about… but we must! We must be prepared both spiritually, and mentally for the time to come and it is drawing near. Even if our children are grown by that time we must prepare them too.

Being faithful in the little things

“He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much." Luke 16:10

I've been meditating on this verse recently, and asking the Lord to help me to be faithful in the little things.

Many times I feel as if I'm not really "doing" much for the Lord and at those times I have to remind myself that raising children up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord is a huge ministry in itself.

Often it doesn't really feel like a ministry when I'm changing diapers and wiping runny noses. But there are those moments when I realize that ministry doesn't always have to be in a church setting or on the mission field. Rather, ministry should begin in the home. Dan and I have seen the desperate need for this in youth ministry. We knew that we could only do so much in terms of ministering to our youth kids, but how we longed for the parents to embrace their roles as the primary ministers to their children. Parents have far greater impact and far more time to train their children in righteousness at home but we see them giving up that role to youth pastors instead. By then is too late in the game and much harder to reach a heart that is becoming hardened to the ways of the Lord.

I'm reminded of the verse "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

I claim this a promise from the Lord, because one of the greatest fears that I have as a mother is that my children would turn from the Lord.

That is why being faithful in the little things right here and right now are so vital.

Many times I thought to myself- how can they understand at this age the importance of prayer, or that we must worship Jesus and Him alone. I think it is a very crafty lie of the enemy that children are too young to understand those things so lets just not even bother teaching them till they're a little older.

But I'm seeing that they do understand even at the youngest age. Even if they don't fully grasp the meaning behind singing a worship song, they hear mommy and daddy singing it and they try to sing along. Even Lydia at this age, when we have times of family worship, will join in by clapping her hands and bobbing her cute little head.

Those moments bring such joy to my heart, how much more our Heavenly Father's heart!

I recently listened to a message from a leader at IHOP who said that as Parents the most important thing that we can do for our children is to establish a culture of prayer and worship. Teaching our children to talk and sing to the Lord.

Not only is this preparing them to embrace Christ as their Savior but it is preparing them for His coming.

I remember when we started saying our bed time prayers with Abigail. First it would start off mommy or daddy saying them. Of course at this age you can't be longwinded and use eloquent words they can't understand. But simple prayers like "God, please be with so and so and help them feel better etc."

Eventually We would start the prayers and Abigail would fill in the blanks. Now she is starting to pray on her own.

I'm reminded of this scripture which has been helping to put things in perspective for me.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

⁴ “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! ⁵ You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. ⁶ These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. ⁹You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

According to this passage we must be using every opportunity to teach our children the words of the Lord.

I'm still learning what it means to incorporate the Word of the Lord in everyday activities. I do have times when I teach Abigail Bible stories but I feel that I need to bring out the lessons learned in those stories in real life situations. God is teaching me.

I know that it is important to help her learn to love and worship the Lord, this is a big responsibility especially because it requires me to first love and worship the Lord before I can impart it to my daughters. I'm sure one of the biggest reasons for children who grow up and rebel against their parents is hypocrisy. I can tell my children to act a certain way but if I don't live it myself what are they learning, but to be good liars.

This is a huge challenge to me and why I know that before we can do any type of ministry whether in or outside the home we must first develop an intimate relationship with the Lord ourselves.

What was it that Israel was commanded to teach their children at all times?

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

If we are not loving God with all that we are, how can we expect our children to?

It's not just training our children to be well-behaved. We have to target the heart, and we want their hearts to be turned to the Lord. It's vitally important that in order to train up our children in the way they should go, we must guard our personal time with the Lord and continually seek to know Him more and more.

We can get so caught up in raising our kids that we can easily let our own heart drift away from the Lord, praying little and reading the word even less. Certainly we might have a good excuse at times. But let's be intentional to keep that time with Him sacred for that is one of the best things we can do for our children.

This is a standard that I readily admit am not upholding a hundred percent. But i'm striving to uphold it, for my Lord and for my children.

The greatest thing that I can do for them is prepare the soil of their hearts to embrace their Savior Jesus Christ and dedicate their lives to Him.

Ok Mommies! I know you have some great practical ideas of how to incorporate worship and prayer and the Word into your everyday routine with the kids. Please share with me!!

A Young Mother's Joy obviously is her children but even more than that, it's giving up herself to her Lord to raise up her children to be God lovers and God followers.

I've been thinking about doing this blog for some time but my biggest obstacle to doing so has been time. Even as I write this I can think of several things I probably should be doing, like finishing the laundry, washing the dishes, tidying up the house etc. Even just writing the above paragraph, was in between interruptions from my two little girls, both so needy at this point at ages three and ten months.

The purpose of this blog- not entirely sure if I can nail it down to one particular purpose, perhaps just sharing my journey of learning what it means to be a wife and a mother. A godly wife and mother. A woman, who desires to deny herself and take up her cross DAILY and follow Christ. Oh how hard that is! to deny myself!!! But I was even hoping to hear from you dear mothers as well, your joys and your struggles, your ideas, your revelations from God, things that He is teaching you during this precious stage.

I've talked to many women like myself who have young children and we all seem to share a common bond, a common understanding of each other that this time can be a tough time raising children who need you to do practically everything for them. Also trying to find the time to spend with your husband, learning how to love and respect Him. Then trying to squeeze in that "quiet time" with the Lord, oh how desperately we need those moments with HIM in order to survive the day!

Overwhelmed seems to be a word I often use to describe my current position. So much seems to occupy my thoughts, my time, my emotions. I feel as if I barely have time to breathe! Can any identify??

Somedays I seem overwhelmed with gratitude for my two little ones, wondering how in the world the Lord could have blessed me with such precious gifts. I'm so unworthy of such joy and love! These are the moments which must carry me through the other days when I feel nearly at the end of my rope changing dirty diapers, cleaning up baby food that's been tossed all over the place, kissing boo boos, picking up crying babies, feeding, dressing, entertaining, cooking, cleaning, bathing, disciplining, nursing, cleaning, putting to sleep, brushing hair, brushing teeth, cleaning, nursing, hahaha!

My husband and I often wonder how a home can become so messy so quickly. If only it were as easy to get it clean again!!!

Maybe I just want to have a channel in which to vent all my motherhood challenges and triumphs! Maybe there's a few of you out there who would think "wow, I thought I was the only one who did that, or thought that!" or "It's comforting to know that I'm not going crazy! there are other women out there who struggle with the same stuff!"

So here goes, my first blog post! I admit, I'm not the most eloquent writer, so please bear with my ramblings, grammatical errors and misspellings! Comment and share your thoughts as well! I more than welcome them!

- Hannah